Things are simply the way they are.  They don’t give us suffering. Like a thorn: Does a sharp thorn give us suffering?  No. It’s simply a thorn.  It doesn’t give suffering to anybody.  If we step on it, we suffer immediately.

Why do we suffer?  Because we stepped on it. So the suffering comes from us.

– Ajahn Chah, Theravada, Thai Forest Tradition.